Growing up, my parents always told me “don’t talk to strangers!” I’m sure a lot of you received similar advice when you were kids. There is some fact in that, as you don’t know who that stranger is, what they’ve been through, what their values are, or what they’re capable of. But therein lies the fiction as well, as you don’t know who they are, what stories they have to share, what lessons they have to teach, or what perspectives they have. Traveling, especially solo travel, can at times feel lonely. However, a new friend or simply a beautiful conversation is just a stranger away.
When I travel, a different part of me unlocks that is different from at home. I am exponentially more likely to strike up a conversation with a stranger on a bus, to learn all about my tour guide/cashier/waitress’s life, or to simply smile and say hi to most strangers. Putting your phone down, putting yourself out there, and being open is all it takes. These are lessons I try to take home with me as well, but it can be difficult if others aren’t open. However, usually the worst thing that can happen is the person ignores you and you accept that rejection. The ideal and more likely scenario is that you have a lovely conversation with a stranger, gain some knowledge or perspective, and maybe make a new friend.
As I write this, I’m sitting on a bus in Costa Rica. In the seats in front of me are a few people from Australia who I met in my hostel by chiming into one of their conversations, and sitting next to them at breakfast. We all ended up laughing for hours, sharing stories, and creating connection. They happen to be going to the same next destination as us, and feel a lot less like strangers. In the seats behind me is a couple from Germany who I met a few days ago at a bus stop in another area of the country. I asked them where they were going, we chatted and commiserated over the long wait time, and parted ways. When they walked on this bus today, we shared smiles and waves, a quick catchup, and the feeling of the world being a bit smaller.
I could go on for pages and pages of stories of times where I was so thankful I talked to a stranger. For instance, I once heard an accent that sounded similar to mine at a bar in Australia, and probably yelled “where are you from!!” to this stranger. We found out we lived a state over from each other, but after talking more realized our grandparents were from a similar region in Maine. It was a silly coincidence, but further conversation led us to find out our grandparents are next door neighbors on an island with a population of 500 people, and longtime friends. It was such a wonderful feeling to find that remarkable connection with a stranger that we would never know if we hadn’t simply started talking.
I like to think we are all just collections of our own experiences and the people we meet along the way in our life. Maybe the stranger you meet at a hostel in Croatia with the most impactful life stories turns out to be such a wonderful friend that you crash on her couch for a week in Paris, and then she comes to visit you in Australia. Maybe the old man that was your taxi driver in Bali always checks in to see how you’re doing, and you recommend him to anyone who visits the country. Maybe your the staff at your hostel in Montenegro is so kind that you decide to extend your stay one night, and then one more night, and eventually you leave knowing you have a home and strangers turned family that you could always return to. And maybe many of these strangers and friends you lose contact with, but think of each other from time to time and wish them well. You learned from them, shared experiences with them, and smiled with them. You are who you are because of all of these wonderful humans that used to be strangers.
You may show up to your travel destination alone, but you’re never too far away from a friend. You just maybe haven’t met them yet.
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